"Why is the rum gone?"

Seen The Pirate Movie? No, I mean the sequel. We saw it last week. I have to say that while I liked it, I think it was about 20 minutes too long. And there seemed to be a few scenes that were totally unneccessary--like that whole thing of him on the island with the natives. Let's be real for a second--Johnny Depp is a genius--especially when it comes to character roles and he can show off his hilarious antics. But rather than weave that into the scenes pertinent to the plot or character development--the filmmakers chose to insert a scene of Johnny D.'s Sparrow running from islanders mistaking him for a deity. (That alone gets points deducted for being cheesy and unoriginal). And all of this commotion--for no reason. But to see him running around. All while some needless CGI intruded on the already intruding scene. I'm not going to give it all away--but he survives the encounter.

My wish list for this movie included the following:
--More jokes!!
--More Johnny Depp!! (and not in a gay way, honest!)
--A tight story with less than 15 subplots
--More Nestle Buncha Crunch (okay, that one's not realistic)
--Fewer than 42 characters brought back from the previous movie (it was a veritable pirate convention!)
--Fewer CGI tentacles (not those tentacles)
--The phrase: "Got a little captain in you?"

All in all I think we paid about $8.50 and got $15.00 worth of movie.

Still, it was worth it. But my illustrious fiancee had a good point, that basically it was like the first Matrix sequel--you have to see the third one to know if you liked the second. (I didn't. They ruined the series).

Until then, I have four words for the filmmakers:

Bring back the rum!